Rain in May

I took a moment to run out to the garden to enjoy
the wet earth and catch a glimpse of these rains before the event of evaporation.

In 2009, I purchased a bag of intertwined and strangled iris roots for three-dollars.
With only the intention of someday having a garden,
I separated and tossed the tubers into a patch of dry earth.
These are some of the irises that have grown from that mangled ball of
tangled root.
 

Quan Yin nestled deep in the thick patch of irises.

 



It is rare that there are rainstorms during the month of May in New Mexico.  Instead of rain, this is marked as fire season.  But last night, sometime after midnight, a thunderstorm rolled across the Santa Fe landscape.  It brought long, primal growls of thunder and a generous amount of earth-saturating rain.

I am pleased and excited to show these photos of a little iris bed that is planted along a coyote fence.  The earth is sandy, parched and damaged.  About five years ago, I tossed some irises into the ground.  They were given very little water, a minimal amount of attention and a small appreciation for their vigor.  Here today, they are growing and a vital part of my otherwise well-maintained garden.  I like to show people that anything can grow anywhere. 

I love the anticipation of gardening in New Mexico.

Returning to New Mexico

 The car is packed and we are ready to begin our trek across the Southwest from Sausalito CA,  to Santa Fe, NM.

I'm eager to resume meeting with a group of Agnihotra practitioners.

Make visits to Hanuman Temple in Taos.

Enjoy my garden and the beautiful storms that roll across the landscape.

Everything in New Mexico is historic.

I'll be able to see my teacher, Satyabhama, at our Albuquerque Retreat Center.

I'll be delighted to again taste, New Mexico green and red chili.

The Way to Mexico

Dante in Mexico, by Andy Hoffmann, 2001, an Elik Press Single with Special thanks to the Utah Arts Council.

`In Hoffmann's chapter titled, "Frida, My Love," he writes: 

It's easy to enter Mexico by way of Frida Kahlo-her image is everywhere.  A symbol of revolution and the deep seated split of the female body...

But there are other ways to get to Mexico.  Some, as Hoffmann, decided to follow the path of the Dharma Bums and beat poets.  Some for the revolution and the beautiful language.  Some came to Mexico through Our Lady of Guadelupe, whose statues are present everywhere in North America.

Images of Frida Khalo are everywhere in Mexico.

Frida Khalo seems to be peeking at tourists as they wander around the cobblestone streets of the old cities in Mexico.

Guadelupe is present in secluded and untended gardens.

Guadelupe can be hiding behind foliage on private patios.

In Mexico, both Guadelupe with her sacred heart, and Frida Kahlo, with her exposed heart, can be found side by side.

I came to Mexico on a self-guided crone pilgrimage and I find that I continue to run into these two images wherever I go.  Neither Frida nor Guadelupe brought me here.  But I found my way to Mexico in my quest to find counsel with the divine feminine.

How did you get to Mexico?  What unusual route brought you here?  Did you find anything interesting?

San Miguel de Allende Streets

I am finding that I spend more time enjoying the quiet streets of San Miguel de Allende, than joining in on the guided tours and meeting other U.S. guests to this area.  My Spanish is limited, so I am not integrating very well in the culture.  This is one of my favorite walks, from the artist studio where I am a guest, to the Jardin or the downtown city center plaza.    

Brick wall and archway, topped with broken shards of glass.

Detail of broken glass embedded into mortar.

Wall sconce and vegetation.

Cobblestone street, filled with a variety of interesting brick and mortar walls.

An all so intriguing doorway to a residence.

Perhaps you'll want to visit this street in San Miguel.  It seems that everyone eventually comes to this city.

Growing along the top of an ancient wall and in the soil that has gathered in mortar and brick, grow cactus and ferns, together.

Pilgrimage Recalibration

A small collage I created to help me get back on track and release my distractions.

On Saturday, I noticed that I was gaining an increased anxiety.  My Crone Pilgrimage quest was losing focus and becoming diluted with all of the things that one could or should be doing while in San Miguel de Allende in Guanajuato, Mexico.  

Did you ever notice that while trying to explore or establish a new path, that it is easy to be distracted?  How could one come to Mexico in the winter without seeing the monarch butterfly migration resting place?  How could one come to Mexico without following the various portals to the world of Frieda Kahlo or an immersion into Our Lady of Guadalupe?  

How could one come to Mexico without following the path of the beat poets?

I am currently looking for the pulse in my body and in my soul that sends a signal that I am not on my path.  When I am feeling some anxiety, I know that I have gone off my course and may even be repeating old patterns that are not part of my current intended growth.  Certainly, one must go off course for explorations into new landscapes and new territories, that will enhance the intended path.  In those moments, one can feel the exhilaration of stepping into something new.  

Do you have a body compass that gives you a signal that you have gone off of your intended course?

Crone Pilgrimage

Snow Covered in January

Even though I'm in Mexico, avoiding the harsh winter in the U.S., I find myself feeling slightly homesick for my garden in New Mexico.  Last year, there were leeks, chard and kales buried under a layer of mulch and covered with snow in my garden.  Throughout the winter, there was always an expectation of something growing, something incubating.

It is the same for me here in San Miguel de Allende.  Even though I'm far from home, buried deep inland below the boarder of the U.S., I feel as if I'm incubating.  Through the use of images, symbols, journaling, art workshops and dream landscapes, I feel as if I'm immersed in my

Crone Pilgrimage.  

The photo above is from my garden in New Mexico.  It was taken on a day after a January snowfall.  Just about one month after the Winter Solstice, the sunlight was beginning to have a noticeable warmth.  There was promise that what was buried and covered would again come to life.  I feel something inside of me beginning to awaken to an unexpected richness of a Crone's Life.

San Miguel de Allende

Hot Air Balloon Over San Miguel

Although I'm not vacationing in San Miguel de Allende, I have taken some time to be a tourist and attend the outdoor organic market, the artisan's cultural market, walk the streets to the long stretches of mercados and sit around the city square, across from the famous church, the Parroquia.  I've eaten at some of the street vendors and enjoyed eating a gordita filled with the deep fried fatty tissue of the underbelly of a pig.  I've had a wonderful bowl of consume' with big pieces of cabbage, carrots and cooked calabacitas.  I've watched cooks in their tiny kitchens work their sharp knives on meats and vegetables.  There is so much to see here in San Miguel.

Hand stitched tablecloths on the breakfast table at Rosewood Inn.

 

Right off of the busiest streets are quiet gardens behind arches, bringing a sense of solitude to cafes or B&B's.

Dining Room in a little B&B Cafe' where I ate chili rellenos.

Cuban Beer at a tiny cafe called 100 Beers.

Tiny tables in the 100 Beers pub, looking out to the Institute de Allende.

San Miguel de Allende street view.

I had the good fortune to find the last Cuban beer in San Miguel.  I drank it.  It was a wonderful, refreshing experience.

Hestia

Pre-dawn hours, reading in the kitchen.

A week ago today, I attended a visual art journaling workshop with a Jungian perspective.  It was a part of my Crone Pilgrimage, to use artwork, symbolism and archetype to gain more insight into this period of my life.

The workshop had us creating collage, much like soul collage.  Using images, symbols, shapes, colors and three-dimensional items, we created a version of our Hestia.  

Hestia, as we know, is goddess of the hearth, home and sacred fire.  

It is important that Hestia nourishes herself first.  Without that inner nurturing and fulfillment, Hestia becomes depleted and cannot keep the sacred fires burning for family and community.

During my Crone Pilgrimage, I am clear that I will nurture and rejuvenate my spirit for the Crone Years that I am now beginning to live.  This is a time of nurturing self through contemplation, guided workshop artwork and reading.

Do you have Hestia in your life?  What do you do to stabilize your internal economy so that you can live in the archetype of Hestia? 

The above photo taken at the art studio of http://sanmigueldeallendepaintingstudio.blogspot.mx/

Portal to Pilgrimage

Morning moon setting in San Miguel

One week ago today, I boarded an airplane in Palm Springs, California, with an intention to arrive in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.  This is all part of my Crone Pilgrimage and my intention to self intitiate into the part of my life that means I am no longer maiden or mother.  

Without sharing too many details that would involve what is known as TMI, or too much information, I can say that when I turned sixty in October, I found a certain restlessness begin to shake my soul.  I began an internal questioning, asking myself what it means to turn sixty.  As October neared the end of the month, I requested some quiet time for reflection in our household, so that I could have time for study and self reflection.  When that request could not be honored, I put my personal items in storage and set out on a quest or pilgrimage.  Some of my friends said that I ran away from home. 

A synchronistic series of events brought me to San Miguel, where I have time for reading, writing, artwork and self study.  One part of me would rather have me at my own home, where I could be in my own surroundings.  But there is nothing like leaving one's comfortable surroundings to explore both internal and external territories.  It is like becoming a map maker and exploring and marking new terrain.  

Last week, the moon was waxing, bringing richness to my intentions.  I came to realize that I am on my own Crone Pilgrimage. 

Morning moon set in San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato, Mexico

This is not San Miguel.  The morning moon setting above the Jemez Mountains in New Mexico, USA.
Photo from January, 2013.

Desconsos

Desert desconsos.

On the last day of December, I created a desconsos shrine as a way to put some of my long-carried burdens to rest.  Using a large votive luminary, images and words were glued to the clear glass.  Working quickly, symbols of things that seemed to remain in my field of unawareness jumped out of magazines and article headlines.  I forgot that I was carrying regrets, resentments and related restlessness.  Using the candle as ritual and ceremony,  the candle was lighted.  The burning flame allowed a gentle release of the old bitterness, grief and disappointments.  I imagined that a light was being placed onto a future.

The candle is burned out, but the symbol of release remains.  The desconsos was planted in the desert within a half mile of where I initially landed, from Wisconsin, in 1999.  This particular desert is the place I fled to during a particularly difficult physical and emotional time in my life.  I set the shrine to be covered with dust, wind and the sands of time.  

This is my desconsos.

Place of rest: desconsos.

Atole'

Atole for two.

Have you ever had a cup of steaming atole' on a cold morning?  This morning, while most of North America was steeped in what is being called the "Polar Vortex," I made a pot of rich atole' for breakfast.  There are as many varieties of atole' as there are families, grandmothers and chefs.  In this case, I used a pre-packaged atole' mix from La Mesa Farms in New Mexico.  This prepackaged mix is filled with dried fresh-ground farm-grown organic blue corn, organic cocoa and farm grown and gound chilies.  In today's atole', I used the Almond Breeze milk.  The cooked and steaming atole' was topped with about two tablespoons of organic whipping cream, but not whipped to stiff peaks.

Atole' is associated with comfort food.  The hot steamy beverage is usually a Christmas tradition, along with tamales.  When I think of atole', I imagine drinking it while a heavy, mountain snow covers the roads to keep people homebound and nesting.  The thick cornmeal and chocolate drink is comforting and gives one the sense of being nurtured.  

Making and drinking this rich cultural drink when most of the U.S. is experiencing the "Polar Vortex," seems appropriate.  But today was not a day for nesting.  On this day, along with a friend, we completed our final packing for our three month trip to San Miguel de Allende.  We fly out of Palm Springs on Thursday.  Maybe, by Wednesday of next week, I'll have a better understanding of Atole.

La Mesa Organic Farms Organic Blue Corn Elixir

A Room of One's Own

Wild Woman Archetype Altar

Until the June of 2012, I kept a small apartment in Stevens Point, Wisconsin.  It was a two bedroom apartment where I could have time for myself to read, write, chant, meditate and have gentle friends visit for dinner parties and esoteric salons.  It was the ultimate Woman's Room of One's Own.

As I move along this Journey of the Crone, I come to realize the importance of such a place.  When I do not have this place of centering sanctuary, I find that I come to be off-balance and my passion to be with myself becomes unruly, untamed and loses direction.

This year, I will create a room of my own in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  The studio space is close enough to home in the area of the famous Santa Fe Rail Yard.  This new studio space has several large windows giving my sewing space plenty of light.  In addition to a large work table, there is space for my books, fabric, a futon and writing.  This is the year of my true crone-self, walking into her fullest expression of her life.

Happy with my Bernina.
This photo is not at a Stevens Point location.

Nesting

Chocolate Elixir and Chili Truffle
http://www.kakawachocolates.com/

Sunday mornings means nesting.  Sometimes, nesting means leaving the house to walk on familiar city streets, with new eyes.  Wrapped in layers of warm sweaters, long coat, snuggly shawl and ear-covering hat, one can walk the city streets to find sanctuary in shadows and flavors.  

Rosaries and shadows at a church in Santa Fe, NM

Nesting cacti

Santa Fe door 

I am currently nesting in Phoenix, AZ.  These scenes are from last year's winter walk around Santa Fe, NM.

Wrapped for nesting walk

Doorway to Pilgrimage

Doorway notebook drawing.

Last November, a month after I turned sixty years old, I started to look for meaning in what it means to cross this age threshold. My life was spinning out with frustration and confusion as well as a sense of wonder.  In my request to the Universe to "send me a sign," I found a free downloadable e-book at this website: http://catcaracelo.com/ .  The eBook, Exploring Mythos, a 7-day guidebook, felt like a gift from the goddess.  I eagerly tackled the first exercise, "Creating a Doorway."  I worked fast with the drawing, since there was a suggested time limit of 10-minutes.  When my time was up, I had this piece.  

I studied my piece and meditated with it.  Something about my drawing made me think that it had the energy of a Tarot card.  Looking for meaning, I found that my "card" suggested that within two weeks or two months, I will have energy like Mars and move in new directions.  It reminded me that basically, I had drawn a symbol that gave me the affirmation that I would have the energy to move in new directions because I have "attained a certain state of balance and harmony or sovereignty within."

The book I used was The Tarot Handbook by Angeles Arrien.

This doorway is the entryway to my pilgrimage.

Pilgrimage

In 2013, I became sixty-years old. During the month of October, I believe I had the equivalent of a mid-life crisis.  As a sixty-year-old woman, I have a new awareness that I need to explore the age old question of WHO AM I?

I enrolled in a year long workshop that is taking me on a bit of a pilgrimage to find and ultimately walk into my crone-self.

My first project for my pilgrimage was to work on desconsos.  The January 1st post of Mystical Gypsy is about desconsos.

My second little project for this VisionQuest or Pilgrimage are these small Vision Cards.

My first vision board was about gardening.

Open doorways and window with views keep me wondering and wandering.
What is beyond the beyond?